As soon as we determined we were actually going through with this, we started discussing it with our accomplices, co-conspirators, and known associates. Inevitably upon hearing the news, folks ask variations of one of two questions:
1: "Oh, are you adopting a boy or a girl?"
At this point we have to explain that we're wanting to adopt a sibling group, which usually results in travels down the various rabbit holes of infants vs older kids, teenagers, holy cow you want a houseful? and so forth.
One friend was told from the outset that we were planning to adopt a sibling group. I recently started showing him profiles we'd found on AdoptUsKids.org, and he responded with "wow, that's a lot of kids. Aren't going to start with one?"
Apparently he didn't know what was meant by "sibling group".
I suppose this only serves to underscore how much more "real" this whole thing is to us than to others. A lot of my friends respond as though I'm talking about a video game or the latest episode of Castle. It's just not something they can wrap their minds around yet.
2: "What country are you adopting from? China? Guatemala? Haiti?"
This one is both bizarre and painful for me to hear. It's bizarre because I seem to know a whole bunch of people who carry around the assumption that adoptable kids only exist in other countries. I've never understood that, just like I've never understood the idea that the only mission fields are in other countries.
A friend of mine who is a pastor once expressed bewilderment at a parishioner who came to him wanting to be sent to work tsunami relief back in 2004. He asked her what she knew about disaster relief, and she said nothing. He asked her if she knew any of the languages of the affected areas, and she said no. He pointed out to her that she could walk outside and within one mile of the church's door she could find enough people who needed help and who spoke a language she understood that she would never be without work to do. As far as he knew, that was the end of the subject for her -- if she wasn't going to Malaysia or wherever, there just wasn't any service she could perform.
We've got hurting people and parentless kids right here in the USA. I don't begrudge anyone with a calling to go to other places, perform missionary work, or adopt children. In all honesty I used to have an attitude about it, but I've grown up since then. I see this country as my mission field, and its children as my pool of possible adoptees. I just don't understand why the overwhelming majority of folks that I know in churches and other circles seem to assume that America has no need for this kind of service.
One of the moms in my blog list is currently working on adopting a kid from China. That's great! It's awesome, in fact, and I applaud her for it. I think folks should go where they're called, and there certainly is enough work (and children) to go around. I just don't think it should be novel or weird or that I should even have to explain that I'm planning to adopt right here in America. I think it's weird that folks don't seem to know we have kids in need here.
I've heard that some other countries are already sending missionaries to America, and it makes me wonder if we'll ever reach a point when foreign parents are regularly adopting American children.
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